The concert was starting in 20 minutes and Jim was outside with his friend James. He looked at his phone to check the time and got a call.
"Where are you?" said his friend Justin.
"I'm about to go into the concert I was telling you about last week" said Jim
"Me too" said Justin. Jim look around and then spotted him across the street with one other person. Justin crossed the street.
"What's up" said justin.
"Nothing much, you know my friend James right?" asked Jim. Justin nodded and said, "Oh yeah, um what's up."
"Hey" said James quickly. Jim could sense the tension between the two. Jim motioned for Justin and his friend to come join and go to the concert with him. They all started walking and got to the entrance of the concert.
"Tickets please." asked the lady at the entrance. They all gave her the tickets and walked in. There was a long hallway with the lights dimmed down and pictures on both walls. They walked down the hallway and Jim was admiring some of the pictures as his phone vibrated in his pocket. His took it out and saw he had a text. He opened the text and it read:"y did u tell him 2 come." The text was from his friend James. He hated when james wrote his texts like that. He looked next to him and saw the tension between James and Justin. He knew they didn't get along to well before. He tried to start up a conversation.
"Jus, when did you buy your tickets for this concert?" James Shot a dirty look at Jim.
"Like two days ago" said Justin.
He knew sensed that both Justin and James did not like each other and decided he would have to do something about it. He was getting frustrated. He stopped and both of them looked at him.
Jim looked at both of them and then said "Look I know you two don't get along that well but were here to go to a concert so if you two are going to complain all night then there's no reason to go." Then Jim kept walking down the hallway. After about a minute Justin looked over a Jim and James and said your right and held his hand out to james for a handshake. James looked at him and hesitantly shook his hand. Jim felt contempt and although the two weren't necessarily friends he knew that tonight he was going to have fun and there would be no drama. The reached the end of the hallway and the music was blasting.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Hey Omar i figured i might read your short story for homework 25.
ReplyDeleteTo start off I really enjoyed your story. I thought it was interesting and original. I thought it was great how your stories true cool guy was the Jim, the one who kept the peace and just wanted to have a good time with his friends. I was not surprised to see the cool and main character guy be Jim, the likable.
Omar- I liked the setting you chose, for the characters to be at a concert, that was pretty cool. And I like how you portrayed the protagonist as the nice guy, the medeator, mending a relationship between two of his friends.
ReplyDeleteOmar,
ReplyDeletei like how you were able to concentrate this story into a short walk down a hallway and really emphasize how teenagers get along. Its not just that the main character was cool but they all were because they were able to put their problems behind them and focus on what they were there for. It has dialogue which makes it a lot easier to picture and i could really feel like i am there.
Sam
Omar,
ReplyDeleteahh I sure wish that life really were that easy. That people were so quick to forgive but it isn't. I like how the person you thought was cool is the peacemaker. That person is always very kind and knows everyone's persona well, which is good in my eyes. Great setting n_n its different from school.
I like that in your story you had a lot of talking between the charactes.You wasn't just telling the story. I think you did a great with show not telling.I think the sitting you picked was good becuase most peopel did a school sitting, so you made it better to read because it wasn't like the same story over and over.
ReplyDelete