Omar S. said...
Esther,
Very interesting thesis and viewpoint overall. I personally like your intro and how you wrote, but I don't know if that is going to work for the research paper. Hopefully Andy will let you get away with it.
Your thesis is very good and I like the piece of evidence you are using. Obviously the essay isn't close to being done. It's a very good start though.
I look forward to reading your paper.
Omar S. said...
Sandy,
You have a very strong thesis and very good arguments as well as evidence. You reference many different sources such as Feed, Banach, Wall-E which all make your arguments much stronger.
You have a lot of arguments which is very good and helps support your thesis in a major way. However, I think you need to expand on each of the arguments a bit. Also, you should add more numerical data that shows statistics on the tools of distraction the media uses on us.
Overall very strong paper. I look forward to your revised version
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