HW 58

From all the perspectives that I have heard over the past week or two it seems that the most popular method when raising children is too guide them and provide structured time for them to develop skills. However, many people, as do I, believe that letting the child come up with things on their own is equally important. Marguerite explained that with the first child she had she was extremely cautious and was always around worrying what she was doing but when she had another child she was much more relaxed and let the child go off and play. She was not as worried about the second child because she was used to raising a child and she let the child go off and have unstructred time with out worrying. She also explained that she let her children become who they wanted to be and her children's personalities are all very different. However, she taught each of her children the same set of values in which she believed. She wanted them to be honest and although she gave them the freedom to be who they wanted to be and allowed them to create their own personalities she gave a bit of structure and gave them a direction to head in. Mr. Marks on the other hand plans to have a lot of structure in his child's life. This means he gives the child planned activities and develops certain skills that he thinks his child should have. He is raising his child to be a certain way but also understands there is no formula to raising children and that you can guide them but you can not shape them.

Parenting has nor formula. Nothing is for sure when you are raising a child. No matter how hard you try to make child a certain way it is never sure that the child will turn out this way. For this reason it is essential to not overwhelm the child but simply guide it. You can guide a child in certain directions and provide them with many opportunities while still allowing them to come into their own as an individual. You can teach children certain values and you can teach them certain skills but it is essential to give the child the space to do what it wants, as long as it is not detrimental to health, future, etc. It is a fine line between enough structure and too much structure. There are certain things you do not want your child to be involved in and too much structure can cause them to want these things more where as too little structure can expose it to them too much. It is important to be honest with your child even at hard times. In the same way a vaccine works, where you are given a bit of a certain virus but not enough to hurt you so that you can then be immune to this virus, a child needs exposure to the world around them however the amount of exposure must be right in the middle. Parenting is not a science, and therefore it can not be broken down in to a step by step guide. It is up to each person to figure out the right amount of guidance, freedom, exposure, etc. to give their children when raising them.

HW 57

It's impossible to tell someone how to raise a child. Its purely opinion there are hardly any facts in how to raise a child. But there are a few general routes that can be taken in terms of how to raise a child. I think that when raising a child it is obviously important to guide the child and help it develop skills in which can be useful in the future. However, having a kid focus on developing skills their entire child hood doesn't broaden the child scope on life. It puts their life in tunnel vision. It is essential to let a kid have the freedom of decision and to grow up by themselves some what. It is truly essential to have a balance between guidance and freedom. The right balance is the tricky part. Having strictly guidance in a childs life has shown to have be seriously dangerous. For example Micheal Jackson or Tiger Woods, were both and tiger woods still is a virtuoso at his craft. However it obvious both of them are severely damaged as people. However achieving virtuosity is impossible with out a full dedication of ones life to the craft they wish to master.

I personally would rather not run the risk potentially destroying a persons life to try to make them great at one particular skill. I think the right way to raise a child is to show the child unconditional love and support them in any of their interests, as long as its not harmful to them(like MMA fighting or something thats just retarded). It's also important to be a bit strict and have order. Lastly a child must be developed academically and socially but also needs to have unstructured time in which the figure things out for themselves. To me it seems raising a child is all about balancing. Every method has its pros and cons and balance of different methods as long as you don't contradict yourself too much seems to be an ideal way to raise a kid. I obviously have no idea what I'm talking about though...I'm only 16.

HW 56

How many friendships do you have that have lasted 10+ years?

Are you accustomed to having short term relationships with many people?

Is it one persons fault to blame when a relationship fails or both people?

Interview 1

1. 1
2. I am accustomed. It so normal and happens so often that you get used to knowing people and then losing connection
3. I think a lot of times the blame is on one persons failure to do something or to hold up their end of the friendship or relationship

1. 2 but one of them I do not speak to much
2. Unfortunately yes. It so common it's unavoidable so you have to learn to live with it.
3. It depends it is both. In my experience both people make mistakes but sometimes one person's mistake can end a friendship or relationship.

1. None. I still know some people from 10 years ago but we aren't close.
2. Yeah but it has always been like that. It so hard to find people you will actually remain close with for a long time.
3. A combination of both. But sometimes connections are lost and it's neither person's fault.

All the answers to these interviews are basically the same. All people hardly have any long term relationships. It is so common to lose friends it's not that big of a deal. It seems that since its so common to lose connections with people that when connections are lost it is just accepted and then people move on. I think if people cared more or made a bigger deal about losing connections it might make a difference in some cases. Obviously that only applies in some cases and the more significant reasons why relationships fail in the first place is still unknown.


In your experience when a relationship fails, is it your own fault?

HW 55

Research Question - What are the most significant factors that cause our relationships to fail?


Comments for others

Brittani
I think your question is a good start but if you made it more specific so that your question allowed you to make and argument where you could prove a point with specific evidence it would be better. Maybe your question can be about specific human needs for relationships with other or a human need to connect and how that affects our relationships.

Sandy
I think your question is pretty strong and is provable by evidence. However it seems a little broad for one paper. There are so many factors that can play into to how relationships work. Maybe you could make your question more specific and focus in on the parts of relationships you find most interesting and what are the significant factors that affect these significant parts of relationships.


http://subtlenuances.wordpress.com/2010/04/15/social-media-and-the-effects-on-friendship/

This article examines the effects of social media on human relationships. It talks about the effect of T.V and video games and other electronics and how the hurt human relationships. It talks about how much of the social media isolate us from others and puts us in our own world and this causes our connection to other humans to weaken.

http://kidshealth.org/teen/food_fitness/problems/body_image.html

This article focuses more on the individual and how a persons qualities affect their social life and their friendships. Its main point is that if a person is more confident in themselves then they will excel in forming close friendships.

HW 54

Extroverted (E) 67.65% Introverted (I) 32.35%
Sensing (S) 59.46% Intuitive (N) 40.54%
Thinking (T) 53.33% Feeling (F) 46.67%
Perceiving (P) 66.67% Judging (J) 33.33%

Your type is: ESTP

ESTP - "Promotor". Action! When present, things begin to happen. Fiercely competitive. Entrepreneur. Often uses shock effect to get attention. Negotiator par excellence. 4.3% of total population.

Weird. I'm not sure if this is really true.

I would like to think that in my personal case this survey was not completely accurate. I do believe this to a small extent and hopefully its true but i realize much of this is completely true. This survey is more accurate then I would like to realize. Everyone thinks of themselves in a certain way. The thoughts inside our head are for only us to know. What other people know are those thoughts that we choose to share. I think this results of this survey showed a bit of both. Our external personality and our internal personality. The two are not that different but they are a bit different. This survey does a good job of accurately giving you an idea of the type of person you are whether we like it or not. It kind of scary.

HW 53

I do think the results were pretty accurate although they obviously were a bit flawed. For the most part they gave people and idea of what percentage for each type of person they were. I think that as long as the survey was answered as truthfully as possible that the results were for the most part accurate. Some of the questions were a bit hard to answer truthfully because there are some things you would like to believe about yourself that arent necessarily true. Questions about how you thought about the world or where the answer to a question was something that you wish may have been different.

The most interesting thing to me was the fact that for the most part all the scores were pretty similar and seemed to be accurate. One statistic that stood out to me was the fact that everyone felt that all the people liked them and although this is a good thing I would think differently from the way people act around each other normally. The test seemed to be very true and question such as the one about drinking proved this. Many people said they had never drank alcohol and from the way people speak about things like that in the hall way you would think the results would turn out different but I think this showed people being honest about themselves or what they do.

Although there were a few differences in some of the results none of them were to significant. ON the questions that were similar they differences did not show to be very different and most results were fairly accurate and similar for both. I think the surveys may have needed to be a bit more similar to really be able to compare the two fully and accurately.

Hw #52

Human relationships can not be defined by a specific set of rules or ethics or anything of that sort. The reason why it seems virtually impossible to figure out our relationships is because they are never quite the same. There are no patterns that tell us exactly what comes next. However, we seem to think we know how things work and we expect things of other people and for this reason many times we end up greatly disappointed. There are many similarities between the relationships we have with people and it is possible to categorize the kinds of relationships we have. We do see common threads between many of our relationships but we seem to jump to conclusions very quickly without thinking things through. Many of the ways we function in society are in fact a function of society. This meaning that many of us act similarly in relationships because we are taught to. However, we are not all robots and for this reason our relationships can always take an unexpected turn. The unexpected happens quite a lot and every time we are just as surprised as the last time. We are so used to routine and lack of variation that when something out of the ordinary happens we don't know how to react and this is the point at which some relationships fail.

Hardly ever do we think about the world through a different perspective. It seems pretty impossible since no matter what perspective we try to look at things we are looking at things through our perspective of another perspective. We are the main characters of the world in our eyes and everything that happens around us either has to relate to us or is not really that important. Here is another point in which relationships fail. Our selfishness comes from our society and the selfish nature of society preaches. This destroys many relationships because no matter how hard some people try to make things work selfishness is something we all deal with and it can subconciously control us. We are constantly relating things to our selves rather than to the people important to us. We think about someone else decision in how it would affect us before we even begin to think about why this person made a decision or how it is affecting them. We seem to accept that many of our relationships are very short term and we don't seem to make extra efforts to save any relationships we have. It seems that we don't value our relationships as much as we could. Many times we are to caught up in ourselves to value the ones around us who truly do affect the way we feel, the way we act, and much of what we do.

We deny many of the things that are good for us and chase the things that hurt. Although this is pretty cliche it seems to stand true much of the time. We chase after superficiality that will die out easily and we deny the things that can make us happy in the long run. We many times put our relationships second or we make decisions that value and less meaningful or valuable relationship more than one that is valuable and meaningful. We do this because we want what we think is excitement and variety when in fact it hardly ever lasts. We make so many split second decisions and many times they hurt us. It is extremely easy to go through life without ever thinking about it and just going through the motions and doing whatever you are required to or influenced to. It's rare that people step back and think about their lives and how what they do will affect those around them and for that matter themselves in the future. We are to busy worrying about going through the motions of life to think about life and think that maybe these motions we go through are not the right way or the only way to live life.

I don't think there is one right way to live life however there are a few things people should do to evaluate their life and decide what is truly important and meaningful in their lives. I think it is essential to evaluate and understand your situation. To do so you must think critically about your situation why you are in this situation and what got you to this point in life as well as where will this path in life lead you to. Once you begin to understand this or at least think about it you can start to decide if it is what you really want. If you realize you want something different in life realistically think about what could be done to change it and what you would want to focus your life on. If you concur that you enjoy the situation you are in what if any changes would you make to your life to improve your situation in anyways you can?

I think taking a step back and looking at your own life objectively and subjectively is what will put you on the path to understanding why you do the things you do. In turn, this should help you understand your role and your actions in relationships and once you understand your side of a relationship you can proceed to understand the other person in your relationship. If you are confused about yourself it is impossible to understand other people. In many ways one must put themselves first to truly understand or help others.